Chapter Three

Neuroscience, Habits, and Better BrainFishing

(An excerpt from Chapter Three)


Fishing Around in Brain Research
This section covers the following questions:

  1. What is my brain actually doing when I’m problem-solving?
  2. Why does asking questions make such a big difference? Can’t I just “tell” a bit nicer?
  3. What psychology is there behind all this BrainFishing stuff?
  4. How do I get in the habit of asking questions, instead of “telling”?
  5. I think I’m too set in my ways to change – can my brain really learn to do this?
  6. This Red Brain/Blue Brain stuff seems stupid – is this actually how the brain works?


Tips for Better Fishing
This section covers the following questions:

  1. How do I break my habit of wanting to give them the “right” answer off the top?
  2. How do I think of the “right” questions?
  3. How do I come up with good follow-up questions in my preparation when I don’t know where the conversation might be going?
  4. Why can I only think of better things to say long after the conversation is over?
  5. In a situation where I need to convey information or a point-of-view on an issue, how do I shift from asking to telling and back again?
  6. Why should I be the one doing all the asking and listening? It isn’t fair!
  7. So if I change, will that make them change?
  8. What do I do when I think I am not getting a truthful answer to my questions? Or when I sense the other person has a “hidden agenda”?
  9. What do I do when someone becomes suspicious because I am doing so much asking and listening and not telling?
  10. If intention is so important, how should I convey it in these conversations? Do I tell them? If so, how?
  11. What if my intention is not win-win?
  12. What if the other party’s intention is clearly not win-win?